you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
