Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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