worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
operation have a gay friend backfired
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
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