My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
