..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Randomize
