I must be too annoying 4 u.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
