we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
