is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
