I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
