Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
