I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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