I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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