it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
