im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
