Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
