I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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