No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
