I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
