sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
