If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
