How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
