Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
