thus making me awesome and them whores
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
