A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
