The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
did i walk over a car last night?
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
