So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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