know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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