Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
