i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
