2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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