i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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