would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
how does that bad decision feel?
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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