yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Randomize
