Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Randomize