I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
