Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
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