She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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