yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
