No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
