What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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