just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize