Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
