Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
