He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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