see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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