is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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