Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Randomize
