We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
