I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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