Tell her she can't have a vagina
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
