If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
And then he peed in my hair
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