I can tuck mytits in my pants
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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