What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
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