I can tuck mytits in my pants
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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