just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Randomize
