Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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