you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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