Are we in a gay sports bar?
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
