well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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