i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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