I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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