When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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