false alarm. still invincible.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
