Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
